Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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