I queefed so loud it echoed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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