do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.