God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
