Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I need moral support for this bender
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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