reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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