He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
