did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
