If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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