It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
