I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
