We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You're like the curious george of whores
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
