we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
