Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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