I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize