Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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