I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize