I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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