How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
