So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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