Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
