and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
