so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
