I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
