I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
