so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
