dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
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Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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