..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
