I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
