Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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