Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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