Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
