i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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