Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
