no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
its not stalking. its research.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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