I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I AM VODKA MAN
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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