I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish you could order shots online.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
