So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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