:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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