My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
