y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
What changed your mind?
Being sober
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
