break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
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Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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