As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
