Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
