maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Can Purell be used as lube?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
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