my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
