He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
