am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
