yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
