The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
