I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
