Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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