Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
