I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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