I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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