i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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