To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
