end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
