Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
