HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
