i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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