He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
